[fler texter (Oh Lord, won't you give me...)]

[Oh Lord, won't you buy me some masculine pills]

[Min karl]

[Statsfrun som fick en stad uppkallad efter sig]




Mercedes Benz text

RadioJamroom Joplin | Janis Joplin wav-filer

Mercedes Benz Covers (2)

melodin i midiformat
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some silicone implants.
The breasts that you gave me don't shake when I dance.
Them doctors make mountains out of hills made for ants.
So oh Lord, won't you buy me some silicone implants.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a good looking male.
My boyfriend is lazy, and big as a whale.
Spends all of my money (when he's not in jail).
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a good looking male...


[topp]

melodin i midiformat
Dagens visa 2003 januari 28
The FTM SRS Blues Song

SRS FTM Blues

Lyrics by C. Lynn Carr & Mikhail Pokrovscky
Copyright © 1995 C. Lynn Carr & Mikhail Pokrovscky. All rights reserved.

(Sung to "Mercedez Benz" by Janis Joplin)

Oh Lord, won't you buy me some masculine pills
Cause bein a female ain't much of a thrill
Gettin hit on by straight men may drive me to kill
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some masculine pills.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me testosterone shots
I'll throw out my apron, my iron and pots
I'd rather have chest hair than screaming young tots
Oh Lord, won't you buy me testosterone shots.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a mastectomy
My friends all got scars yet they stand up to pee
I wanna be cut up and join patriarchy
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a mastectomy.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a hysterectomy
Grown tired of bleeding and feeling crampy
The price of a tampon has almost broke me
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a hysterectomy.

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a phalloplasty
The dykes all got strap ons, and I must compete
I need med approval, so I'll be complete
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a phalloplasty

Oh Lord, won't you buy me some masculine pills
Cause bein a female ain't much of a thrill
Gettin hit on by straight men may drive me to kill
Oh Lord, won't you buy me some masculine pills.



[topp]


lyrics:
sadie the cleaning lady
john franham

melodin i midiformat

MIN KARL

Min karl han är som din karl!
Kommer hem och snabbt en puss på kinden.
Om jag målat läppar rött.
Inget ord att det är sött.
Gammal är jag - snart bärs upp på vinden.

Min karl han är som din karl!
Efter puss befaller: Mat på bordet!
Om jag klätt mej sensuellt.
Påsatt lilla Aktuellt.
Ropar "Var är pilsnern" - hård är ordet.

Jag vaknar en natt - Var är maken?
På TV Tusen ser den unga tjejen naken.
Varför laga all den mat,
damma - skura - diska fat.
Varför står jag här och sköter kraken.

Min karl han är som din karl!
Bröllopsdag - och fram med fina duken.
Men då är fjärrkontrollen hans.
Nå´t romantiskt - ej nå´n chans.
Slumrar in jag killar han på buken.

Min karl han är som din karl...

text: Tommy Rådberg

[till dagens visa 2003] | [till dagens visa 2002]

[Oh Lord, won't you buy me some masculine pills]

[Statsfrun som fick en stad uppkallad efter sig]

DAGENS VISA:   http://www.dagensvisa.com/minata/dav/aktuell.htm



[Skillingtryck och gamla visor]
[Portal Dagensvisa] | [Visornas hemsida]


[topp]

Dagens visa 2002 januari 28

Ulrika Eleonora von Berchner, född år 1739, hade vid tjugo års ålder äktat den nitton år äldre landshövdingen, friherre Per Abraham Örnsköld. Äktenskapet var barnlöst, blev änka 1791 och avled i Nyköping den 6 maj 1809.

Hennes sista älskare skall ha varit Peter Schönström.

Ur en drottnings dagbok

text: Hertiginnan Hedvig Elisabet Charlotta (1759-1818), sedermera drottning (1809-1818)

För omväxlings skull vill jag nu beskriva en s. k. pryd dam. Efter att hava skildrat trenne behagsjuka damer [de tre gracerna] synes det mig lämpligt att taga en, som är i något olika stil, och drottningens alla nio statsfruar kunna ju ej vara utav samma skaplynne. Fru Örnsköld måste i sanning räknas till de prydas antal; det är i synnerhet i fruntimmerssällskap, som hon lägger i dagen denna sin egenskap och visar sig sårad av det minsta ord, som ej överenstämmer med den allra strängaste moral; hon döljer då sitt ansikte och rodnar.

Hon är ett rätt besynnerligt fruntimmer, mycket kinkig och grälsjuk och ställer gärna till bråk för ingenting, varför hon ej har några personliga vänner. Hon saknar kunskaper, men är ganska begåvad och mycket slipad samt kan konsten att ställa sig in hos folk och avlocka dem hemligheter, varav hon kan draga nytta.

Rätt mycket i gunst hos kungen är hon avundsjuk på alla, som han möjligen kan tyckas visa större uppmärksamhet.

Tillsammans med herrar är hon emellertid långt ifrån pryd, hon strävar endast efter att locka dem riktigt in i sina nät, och hon har haft fullt upp lika många älskare som någon annan och kanske till och med varit mera ombytlig än de flesta, men nu mera, sedan hon börjat bliva äldre, är det henne icke, så lätt att få tag i någon, som vill göra henne sin kur, isynnerhet som hon är för stolt att överlämna sig till vilken som helst. Hon är därför ganska ofta vid dåligt lynne, och jag har själv sett henne gråta bittra tårar, uteslutande framkallade av den brist på älskare, varför hon är utsatt.

Den stackars baron Taube, som är kammarherre hos kungen, är emellertid nödsakad att vara henne trogen, ehuru han i tysthet beklagar sig häröver, men tacksamheten tvingar honom härtill. Han var en fattig gosse utav god familj, för vilkens vackra utseende fru Örnsköld med sitt ömma och välgörande hjärta fattade tycke, hon födde och klädde honom samt förskaffade honom konungens ynnest, vilket gjorde hans lycka, och han är numera en av dem, som kungen sätter mest värde på.

Epigram

Jeana = grevinnan Lantingshausen, född Stockenström
Ulla = friherrinnan Örnsköld

text: Johan Gabriel Oxenstierna

Hvad samtalets behag, hvars qvickhet aldrig tömdes;
Vid konungen i qväll satt Jeana segrande,
Och Ulla däremot, som han ej låddes se,
Bland hofvets menighet vid bordets ända glömdes.
Men Ulla medlertid ur sin förnedrings skick,
På fyra älskare upplyftande sin blick

Ur skuggan af den sänkta hatten:
Ja, sade hon, jag än kan trösta mig,
Om Jeana dagen har för sig,
Så har jag ändå för mig natten.




[topp]


melodin i midiformat
Oh Lord, won’t you give me
An election that’s fair
I live in Tallahassee
I had to vote there
They threw out my vote,
The Supremes didn’t care.
Oh, Lord, won’t you give me
An election that’s fair.

Oh Lord, won’t you give me
The right President
I voted for Gore now
It was no accident
My chad, it was dimpled
So out my vote went
So oh, Lord, won’t you give me
The right President.

Oh Lord, why’d you curse us
With Jeb and with Kate
They fixed the election
They just couldn’t wait
To put Dubya into
A Presidential state.
Oh Lord, why’d you curse us
With Jeb and with Kate.

Oh Lord, won’t you give me
An election that’s fair
I live in Tallahassee
I had to vote there
They threw out my vote, the
Supremes didn’t care.
Oh, Lord, won’t you give me
An election that’s fair.
Oh lord won't you buy me a terabyte drive. 
My friends all have mass store, I must stay alive. 
Worked hard to get my output, I need an archive
Oh lord won't you buy me a terabyte drive.

Oh lord won't you buy me a cluster of PC's
Beowulf technology is calling out to me.
I must make amends cause my friends went MPP,
Oh lord won't you buy me a cluster of PC's.

Oh lord won't you buy me a DSL line,
I'm counting on you lord, please send me a sign.
Prove that you love me and make that bandwidth mine,
Oh lord won't you buy me a DSL line.
Lord won't you buy me a horsey that bends
My friends all ride warmbloods, I must make amends
I practice my leg yields each evening 'til ten
Lord, won't you buy me a horsey that bends

Lord, won't you buy me a horse that won't buck
I'm tired of trying to land standing up
I spend all my time brushing dirt off my butt
Lord won't you buy me a horse that don't buck

Lord, won't you buy me a horse that won't bite
I count all my fingers and toes every night
I feel like a carrot when I'm in his sight
Lord won't you buy me a horse that won't bite

Lord, won't you buy me a horse that stays clean
I brush him, I groom him, I've considered chlorine
His colour's too chestnut for a horse with grey genes
Lord won't you buy me a horse that stays clean

Lord won't you buy me a horse with some guts
This spooking and shying is driving me nuts
And while you are at it make me less of a klutz
Lord, won't you buy me a horse with some guts

Lord, won't you give him some hindquarter drive
This horse is soooo lazy not sure he's alive
We bend and we circle 'til way way past five
Lord won't you give him some hindquarter drive

Lord won't you give me a mule that gaits well
No trotting, no pacing...he four beats like h***
Lop eared and no withered; man it'd be swell
Lord if you'd give me a mule that gaits well

Lord, won't you give me a mare with a brain
One that keeps working when hormones are strained
The gelding's in therapy, the stallion is drained,
Lord won't you give me a mare with a brain

Lord won't you buy me a horse that don't eat
No grass or no hay, now that would be neat
No rain means no pasture, my wish I'll repeat
Lord won't you give me a horse that don't eat

Lord, won't you give me a horse with no bills
My vet and my farrier are first in my will
Work hard all day long just to pay for his pills
Oh Lord, won't you give me a horse with no bills

Oh Lord-please-make his IQ just 3
The horse I got now thinks he's smarter than me
Well, he doesn't just think it, he's right, don't you see
Oh Lord-PLEASE-make his IQ just 3

Oh Lord won't you buy me a horse with some spots
I'm bored with the bay ones and chestnuts and such
Leopards or snow flakes or peacocks with socks
Lord won't you buy me a horse with some spots

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a horse with good feet?
No head bob or hip hitch, no screwed up right lead
I could finally ride more than I soak, wrap and knead
Lord, my achin' backside would rejoice, INDEED

Oh Lord won't you buy me a horse with a saw?
One who can measure and manage an awl
A horse that can eyeball and set a post straight; drill holes, screw
hinges
and hang a tube gate
Lord, won't you buy me a horse with good tools?
These crooked fences make us all look like fools!

Lord, won't you buy me a saddle that fits
My arse is so tender I can't hardly sit
Something soft to my tush and wide for his back
Maybe deep seated dressage and in shiny black
Ooooh, Lord, won't you buy me a saddle that fits
Oh Lord won't you buy me a server that works?
My friends all use Unix, no servers with burps.
My servers work half-time, a truckload of quirks,
So Lord won't you buy me a server that works?

Oh Lord won't you buy me some new admin clowns?
The current ones cause me deep ungainly frowns.
Prove that you love me and put them all down,
Oh Lord won't you buy me some new admin clowns?

Oh Lord won't you buy them a beginners' course?
I'd like to stop cursing before I am all hoarse.
They need to Get It, if need be by force,
Oh Lord won't you buy them a beginners' course?

Oh Lord won't you buy me a server that works?
My friends all use Unix, no servers with burps.
My servers work half-time, a truckload of quirks,
So Lord won't you by me a server that works?
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a PC/AT
The high-tech revolution is waiting for me
Hacked hard all my Sundays on an Apple IIe
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a PC/AT

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color display
The Dungeons of Doonquest are no fun in gray
Got my new color joystick, I'm ready to play
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color display

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Microsoft Mouse
My life ain't complete without one in the house
I can live without Windows, I don't mean to grouse
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Microsoft Mouse
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me
Some Saintly P.J.s
I can’t wear this T-shirt
At the End of Days
I’ll pay any price, but
I ain’t got eBay’s
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me
Some Saintly P.J.s
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me
Those I’ve left behind
I’m sure my precursors
Were all sweet and kind
I’ve got every name here
That Google can find
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me
Those I’ve left behind

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me
A place in the Host
I don’t need a star, Lord,
A big moon at most
To jam with yourself and
The Kid and the Ghost
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me
A place in the Host

Oh Lord, won't you buy me my own sacred cow?
I'm sure you'd agree I'm enlightened by now.
Worked hard all my lifetime with sweat on my brow.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me my own sacred cow?

Oh Lord, won't you balance my brain energy?
Starseed transmissions are trying to reach me.
I've tried meditating each day until three.
Oh Lord, won't you balance my brain energy?

Won't you buy me a ticket to astral project?
Surround me in white light, I know you protect.
This earth-bound existence is harder than heck.
Won't you buy me a ticket to astral project?

I've heard of those high-tech akashic CDs.
With all of that info, life would be a breeze.
Just look at me now, Lord, I'm down on my knees.
Won't you buy me a high-tech akashic CD?

Won't you buy me my very own miracle course?
To rid me of anger, guilt, fear and remorse.
And I don't mean to pressure, but I could use a Porsche.
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a miracle course?

Oh Lord, won't you send me some grace from the sky?
I'm tired of this karma, the price is so high.
I think I'll be further in debt when I die.
Oh Lord, won't you send me some grace from the sky?



[topp]

DAGENS VISA:   http://www.dagensvisa.com/minata/dav/aktuell.htm



[Skillingtryck och gamla visor]
[Portal Dagensvisa] | [Visornas hemsida]